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The Tech World According to Lady Wrinkles The Dignified Dog Post#1 Ransomware Wednesday, May 31, 2017

post date: 6/16/2017

Greetings,

 

For the privileged few that have already met me, my sincere salutations! For those who are yet to experience that rare pleasure, please do allow me to introduce myself. My name is Lady Wrinkles. For some unknown reason, a few also choose to call me The Dignified Dog, My Human minder is Aida Keehner (Just so you are aware, be under no illusions that I choose to let her believe that she actually owns me, bless her socks!).

I am 12 dog years young, in your human years, that makes me a very wise 84.

For a while now, I have indulged the Atruent crew in letting them believe that I am their undercover Mascot.  But - flibbertgibet! – life is too short, thought I. So, I decided to “come out of the closet” and give you all the benefit of my wisdom on the topics that seem to matters to my Human.

Whilst following my twitter feed and the news recently, I noticed that my Human was inelegantly going insane with the rise of a strange new affliction called “Ransomware”. While I sometimes enjoy witnessing her mood swings, it was actually more than I could bear as it was really starting to spoil my quiet time in the library. Whilst I know that, in time, she will be perfectly able to cope with this scourge, I decided it was time for me to clarify things a tad for those of you a little more technologically challenged.

So, What is Ransomware?

In all of your human years, I am convinced that you have heard of viruses or malware. These are dangerous little rascals (you call it software) that steal your data and disrupt the well-being of your cherished digital devices.  Ransomware does not steal data but holds it captive by encrypting files and displaying a ransom note on the hapless victim’s screen. “Ransom”-ware, Get it? Those unfortunate enough not to have MY Human and her beloved crew at Atruent to help them, will either pay the ransom, generally in some form of uncouth currency called, Ahem, “Bitcoin”, or lose their data forever in a pit of digital oblivion.

So, how do you prevent it? May you ask…

Simple: DON’T GO CLICKING ON SHIT!

I am tired and irritated to hear my Human scream because someone clicked on something they were not supposed to. This is what I look like when I am fed up. You all wear me down.

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PAY ATTENTION AS I AM GOING TO SAY IT ONCE!

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  1. Be careful when opening emails, even if it is someone you know, if it looks suspicious, call the sender to verify (you can still talk on the phone you know)
  2. Don’t install any software unless it comes from a reputable source
  3. Patch your beloved digital devices: that means install security updates for your operating systems
  4. BACKUP YOUR DATA
  5. VERIFY YOUR BACKUP
  6. BACKUP YOUR DATA
  7. VERIFY YOUR BACKUP
  8. Repeat these steps ad nauseam until they are forever engraved in your human brain

 

Lastly, hire my Human and her beloved Atruent crew, because they know what they are doing and they can make sure that your data is safe, your network is protected and all that good stuff. And I can get back to sitting quietly in the library without those unseemly interruptions.

 

Enough of all that for now, I am exhausted. time for a nap…

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Until next time,

 

Your humble servant,

Lady Wrinkles

The Dignified Dog

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